Less Like Scars And More Like... Character

At Adullam Ministries, if we say nothing else, we want to say to you that there is hope. It is possible to get to a point when you're not stuck in the pain and struggle of self-harm, where you feel in complete control of your life.

This area of the website is written specifically for those who are struggling with self-harm. Anyone is welcome here, but if you are someone who cares for someone who is self-harming, or someone who wants to find out more, this may not be the best area to start; you might want to go to the Carers section first. If you are visiting this area of the website, we are assuming that you know what self-harm is, and a little bit about it.

You may have heard what you do called many different things and referred to in all sorts of ways. We call it self-harm purely because it's easy to say and remember, and it doesn't have the negative connotations of words like 'mutilation' or 'para-suicide'.

When we talk about people who self-harm, we switch between the terms 'sufferer' and 'survivor'.

If we say nothing else, we want to say to you that there is hope.

We use 'sufferer' because we don't want you to feel like your self-harm is something you can stop immediately - we think it is something that you will need some help to get over. We don't want you to feel judged for your behaviour in this place.

We also use the word 'survivor' because, if you self-harm, that is what you are. You have managed to find a way to deal with difficulties that works for you and enables you to carry on with your life. Finding a way to cope with life is a good thing, but at the same time it is our hope that you will be able to find ways of coping with life that don't cause you harm.

We hope that you find help and encouragement on this website. We hope also that you will use what knowledge you have of self-harm to help the others who use this site, because you are the experts on this. Please do if there is anything you would like us to add.


It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember
Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you
And I know you're here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

And more like

Character

Copyright Sara Groves 2000